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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
In my intro thread, I said that I'm starting to ride again after 28 years.

I am signed up for the safety course, but want to do some rides on roads with light traffic volume. I went out with my husband last night for my first ride on the road (practiced in a small parking lot before hand).

My issue is that I know how to ride, I just need to practice my coordination, etc and I'm being a bit cautious. My husband has the best intentions but is very critical and doesn't have much patience. He expects perfection and I'm distracted by what he is thinking or what he's going to say.

I'm thinking at this point, I would be better off taking small rides by myself and focusing on what I'm doing instead of being distracted by him.

Any opinions?
 

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ride YOUR ride, if that means going it alone then go alone. There is of course a caveat but I won't go into it here, I may be considered sexist and narrow minded if I did, suffice to say if your vows included certain words..heed them if your hubby should balk..BUT be sure to tell him he is distracting you and may be a hindrance to you rediscovering your abilities
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks - it also doesn't help that I have two sons (19 & 23) who like to judge mom too. :wink:

It also doesn't help that my bike is my husband's hand me down and he still considers it his baby.
 

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Congrats on getting on the road again. I found with my son that a subdivision is a good place to practice stopping and starting. That was where he was having the most problems. SF.
 

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Can you legally ride by yourself - or are you on a learners permit?

If the latter - your choices are probably limited.

I can tell you from experience (being a husband) that your husband is worried (very worried) about your safety -- and really wants to get you proficient in the shortest time possible - - now his tactics might not be the most efficient his heart is in the right place.

Ask him to review your ride after you get home and to be with you while riding in case you get in trouble (dump the bike and need help etc.) but to be patient and let you make mistakes as necessary to learn.

If I told my wife once I told her a 100 times about the friction zone of the clutch and she stalled the bike regularly and at the most inconvenient times - until one day - BAM! she got it - on her own thankfully because I gave up trying ot explain it to her. A constant source of frustration for both of us.......sometimes it just takes enough practice.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Down deep, I know he is worried about me and doesn't want me making mistakes.

In PA we can ride alone on a permit before dark. After dark, you need to ride with someone.

We talked at dinner and we will go together again for a longer ride this weekend before I go solo.

He's one of those people who has a bark that is worse than his bite. After 25 years, I know that, but I'm getting cranky in my old age. :mrgreen:
 

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Can you legally ride by yourself - or are you on a learners permit?

If the latter - your choices are probably limited.

I can tell you from experience (being a husband) that your husband is worried (very worried) about your safety -- and really wants to get you proficient in the shortest time possible - - now his tactics might not be the most efficient his heart is in the right place.

Ask him to review your ride after you get home and to be with you while riding in case you get in trouble (dump the bike and need help etc.) but to be patient and let you make mistakes as necessary to learn.

If I told my wife once I told her a 100 times about the friction zone of the clutch and she stalled the bike regularly and at the most inconvenient times - until one day - BAM! she got it - on her own thankfully because I gave up trying ot explain it to her. A constant source of frustration for both of us.......sometimes it just takes enough practice.
Yep as any husband worth their salt would be.. just needs to back off a tad, hard to do.
 

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Ahhh, I too have been holding off, after 16 years of not riding! Finally yesterday evening, I just did it. I got on, took it out to the street and headed for the cul de sac! NOT what I really wanted to be doing, riding in a circle starting out! I then took it around the blocks, avoiding Main St USA, and then did the cul de sac two more times. My refresher class is in October. I cant wait that long! Hubby getting antsy cuz now we will be sharing one bike!!!! Whaaaaa!
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Ahhh, I too have been holding off, after 16 years of not riding! Finally yesterday evening, I just did it. I got on, took it out to the street and headed for the cul de sac! NOT what I really wanted to be doing, riding in a circle starting out! I then took it around the blocks, avoiding Main St USA, and then did the cul de sac two more times. My refresher class is in October. I cant wait that long! Hubby getting antsy cuz now we will be sharing one bike!!!! Whaaaaa!
You'll have to get your own! Christmas is coming ;-)
 

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Ridin alone is not all bad

Hello I am a new rider and to make a long story short since this is your topic I have found that not having the husband with me has made it easier to learn on my own! I have my permit and will be taking the MSC next month and have built up my confidence enough that I rode to work by myself the other day ( In Missouri I can ride by myself with a permit during daylight). So I understand how intimating it is having hubby watch you. My husband was very understanding and has not been pushy about the issue I now feel like maybe we can ride somewhere together although I will be very nervous. Haha hope it works out for you and don't get discouraged ride your ride and have fun and be safe...
 

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Welcome aboard, I'm a newbie that didn't hit the streets until I was 50.
While there is safety in numbers, for myself I should have started out making trips by myself.
As you stated, I'm cautious, sometimes I over think things though.. That's where my problems start. If I watch my surroundings being careful and just ride the bike, naturally leaning into corners and whatnot, I'm fine. When I see a corner coming up and start thinking push this way into it and do this, Am I going to fast?, what if I hit gravel?, ect. I inevitably mess up.

My first organized ride with about 20 others, I had been on the bike a total of three times, they put me in the center of the pack and we took off on a two lane road that I had never been on and traveling about 10 mph faster than I was comfortable with. Yes we hit a corner and I thought too much! I don't know if you believe in angels.. As for me and the riders behind me, we believe! Off the road I went into the gravel and grass straight at a fence four feet off the road. Somehow the bike got turned back toward and onto the road without spilling it or clipping the fence.
I have decide not to let anyone push me out of my comfort zone.

Even in a car I stay withing 5 mph above the speed limit, it's no different on the bike. On the way home from work some of us ride together, one likes to hit it pretty hard and will complain that I keep it around 65 in a 60mph area.

Oh well...

BTW nice ride!
 

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I ride a lot alone. I love nature and I also have an unsatiable desire to look at weird things on rides. I could be riding along and see something (usually to stop and take pictures) and want to stop. A lot of time, people on group rides are less understanding, so I ride a lot alone. Go at my own pace, see what I want to see, travel the roads I want and stop when I want. Nothing wrong with travelling alone (laws permitting).

Just remember everything you learn in class. I agree, while your husband's tactics might not be the best, I've also seen a lot of riders think "Meh, that's close enough..." or "That's the right way to do it, .... I think."

It's good to have someone keeping you doing things correctly, but it shouldn't be a bother/distracting or belittling.
 

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I would suggest all newbies have a partner when they go out BUT that person needs to be a helper, not a critic. There is so much to cope with when learning, gentle reminders ("Look where you want to go. Straighten up before braking in a low speed turn, etc") are often a help.

Regarding the old phart's 'my bike' attitude, let him see you shopping on Craig's List for your own. "You are so twitchy about your old bike, thought I'd better give you the keys back" might be a good wakeup call. That plus a "I'd love to have some help but the negative you-are-doing-it-all-wrong attitude does not help me" conversation is in order.

Finally, another suggestion. Put highway bars and handlebar crutch tips on your ride. People that have never fallen over or forgotten the kickstand are in the minority. Keeps damage, embarrassment and reminder scars to a minimum plus says, "This is mine now".
 

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Go ride!! Forget "practicing"... go for a nice ride. Pick a lunch destination, a dinner destination etc, and go. You get better riding.. by riding. You also need to find a way to enjoy it. If you are nervous on the bike, might as well beat on it with a hammer a bit because you are only going to put more dents in it. All the criticism in the world isn't going to improve your riding. Doing little figure eights in an empty parking lot isn't going to make you a better rider. Putting miles on your bike will. Go out and enjoy it. Doesn't matter if you are alone or with someone else.
My .02 anyway!
 

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Definitely ride alone. You will be amazed at how much confidence you will gain. I had the same issue with my husband. Finally got so tired of it I started to ride when he couldn't, gained so much confidence in such a short time. We go together some but he still feels he has to "offer suggestions". At this point I have ridden twice a much as him. Yes we can all use constructive criticism but it is not always welcome. I always lead the way so that gives him the perfect opportunity to concentrate on how he would do things. Now I just make a point of being far enough ahead that it makes it hard for him. No one wants or needs a constant critic.
 

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Hey, Empty Nest.... You could be me on another coast. I'm married to a "worried barker" as well. When I told husband I wanted to ride my bike to the gym, the look on his face was classic. You would think I was 16 and asking to take the car out for the first time. It was crazy! My husband is MORE than protective of me on my bike. I love riding alone, but don't get to do it much. We have Scala Riders on our helmets to communicate. It's a little annoying, but he needs to be able to coach me. His "coaching" methods aren't always the best and I have to put my foot down occasionally and tell him to LET ME RIDE!

SPR
 
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